i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize