I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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