Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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