I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
