two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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