im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this just has baby written all over it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
