Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
