Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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