I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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