In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
