So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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