ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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