You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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