I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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