just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
