How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize