I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
