this beer tastes like vomit already
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
