If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
