I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
