No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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