puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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