I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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