I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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