My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize