So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
