Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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