Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
two words: eviction party
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
