He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize