pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Me too!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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