he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
