i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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