My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
