Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize