Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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