he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've blown a few things in my day
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
