im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize