He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
