just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
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some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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