That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
