the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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