Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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