"it" just moved
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
