If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
