addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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