I think i peed on brittanys purse
i barfeds in our rink
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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