who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
