If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
