he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
