Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
