For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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