Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
