Christians are straight up FREAKS
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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