Texts From Last Night

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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.

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  (204): i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week. http://tfl.nu/kpcq
  Replies (5) Good night (4057) Bad night (800)
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  (914): View more from New York

  my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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  (914): my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet http://tfl.nu/lao3
  Replies (55) Good night (2731) Bad night (4940)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".

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  (630): You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking". http://tfl.nu/tuao
  Replies (9) Good night (5884) Bad night (851)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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  (203): I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me http://tfl.nu/osg9
  Replies (45) Good night (8044) Bad night (1255)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.

  (917): View more from New York City

  i told you we never speak of that again

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  (718): you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something. (917): i told you we never speak of that again http://tfl.nu/ijex
  Replies (14) Good night (1212) Bad night (4448)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.

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  (202): At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us. http://tfl.nu/d8nu
  Replies (7) Good night (4875) Bad night (988)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday

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  (313): is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday http://tfl.nu/9ppn
  Replies (6) Good night (3611) Bad night (798)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.

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  (417): As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits. http://tfl.nu/fap8
  Replies (17) Good night (949) Bad night (3012)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.

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  (402): Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others. http://tfl.nu/fg60
  Replies (5) Good night (1798) Bad night (602)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.

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  (+44): I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly. http://tfl.nu/kesy
  Replies (11) Good night (2485) Bad night (720)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.

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  (678): Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago. http://tfl.nu/b245
  Replies (13) Good night (1598) Bad night (740)
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  (716): View more from New York

  That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information

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  (716): That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information http://tfl.nu/q7xv
  Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (382)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.

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  (757): I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me. http://tfl.nu/r9ax
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (321)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed

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  (616): I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed http://tfl.nu/kh3f
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (235)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.

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  (602): You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/mu1s
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (238)

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