cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
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DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"