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dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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