Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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