Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
