PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
