Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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