Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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