plz talk dirty to me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
