Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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