But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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