So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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