ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize