is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
