i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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