maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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