Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
